JimFormation · I’ve Been Thinking …


What would you do if you walked in on your wife having sex with another man. And maybe a woman. It happens. It’s never comfortable.

Posted
20 May 2008

Discovery

I opened the bedroom door and time froze. So much went through my mind before anything was said. It couldn’t have been more than ten seconds between discovery and first words.

There she was in bed with not just another man, there was a woman too. I was so shocked that I didn’t even see the lamb tied to the bedpost (and I didn’t hear about the chicken until much later).

I stood in the doorway for an eternity. These thoughts raced through my numb brain –

There’s a guy. With MY wife. A guy that is not me. Am I inadequate? Wasn’t I good enough? Wasn’t I man enough?

The woman. I can understand a woman, I mean, if she had those inclinations, those urges. I couldn’t help her there. I can’t fill those needs, those desires.

Maybe the guy came with the woman. Maybe that was the only she would come. Maybe that’s the only way she could close the deal.

But if she wanted to bring a woman in our bed, she could’ve tried it with me. Right? That’s every man’s fantasy. Right?

Maybe I shouldn’t have been so vocal about being against it. Telling her there was no intimacy and no rules, no protocols.

How does one go about the business of sex in a group without, at some point, offending one of the players? Leaving someone out? Or being left out? Still, she should have talked to me.

Or, if she wanted to go it alone, that’s kind of sexy. Isn’t it?

Thought after thought. Racing and racing. Chasing each other like a dog after its tail. Like a cat on fire.

But I didn’t move. I just stood there, blank-faced, in the doorway.

Expectant faces stared back at me from the bed. Waiting for me. A voice in my head shouted, “Say something! Anything!”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS A SHEEP
DOING IN MY BEDROOM!”

Finally she stood up, eyes pleading and yearning. She tried to choke the words out. A tear formed on the edge of her eye. She took a small step forward …

… that’s when the eels fell out.

:::

The above was a fictional response based on Question #3 at Whistle&Fish’s meme for the self-indulgent. The question read:

You catch your significant other in bed with a(nother) man, a(nother) woman, a sheep, a chicken, and three eels. Which arouses the most jealousy in you and why? Which is most titillating? Why? (Extra points for narrating the dialogue and series of events occurring in the first fifteen minutes after your initial discovery.)

I will be answering Question #4 presently.

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If you liked that, you might like one of these:

  1. Ten Quick Questions
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1 Comment

Posted by
Sarah Bartosek
26 August 2008 @ 9am

This is the funniest thing I have ever read. When will see your collection at B&N?


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