Weekly Tweets for 2008-11-01

1/11/2008
  • Turns out that the best egg sandwiches in town are made by the guy in the bowling alley’s greasy “cafe.” And only $2.50 to boot!
  • “I’d rather watch two chickens f*** than coach football.” LT
  • I have 3 email addresses. Two are forwarded to one account. I just realized that none of the forwarders are working. I can’t figure it out.
  • Every. Thing. Is. Broken. Everything.
  • It’s a U2 afternoon for me. And I’m being a snob about it too. “You don’t understand U2 like I understand U2.” Hey, I’m in the moment.
  • I just spent the better part of an afternoon designing an 9×5 ad that I think is supposed to be 5×9. I told you, everything is broken.
  • The boss gave me a bottle of Chivas with a couple of rocks glasses. Guess what I’ll be doing once the kidlets are all tucked in.
  • What celebrity is white, was shot down behind enemy lines, and can’t lift his arms above his head? McCain? Nope. Snoopy! (an edited retweet)
  • The wife and I are tipping the Chivas while watching Larry King interviewing McCain: “McCain! Rice Krispies or Rice Chex?!”
  • Trapper Tom said, “It’s not gray squirrels; it’s flying squirrels. Flying squirrels are tough to get rid of.” They’re in my walls and attic.
  • “It doesn’t matter how many trees you cut down. Flying squirrels can glide 300 feet.” – Trapper Tom
  • In NJ, it’s a felony to use mothballs to try to exterminate squirrels.
  • It’s like some of the ladies I work with must’ve thought, “I don’t know if I want to dress-up as a witch or a whore. I know: BOTH!”
  • According to the Wikipedia, my town (Toms River, NJ) has the 2nd largest Halloween parade in the world. Tonight, my son plays trumpet there.
  • Can’t get John Deere started. Think the internal combustion engine is a good idea? Try to fix one that doesn’t want to be fixed.
  • Do-It-Yourself Tip: Internal combustion engines need something to combust. John Deere was out of gas.
  • “Come to Hollister. Grind up a cow. Stuff it in his feet.” Mike Rowe, Dirty Jobs

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