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Queer Eye for the Yellow Guy

It s an old controversy but a friend asked me to comment on it, so I will:

spongebob-gay.jpg Illustration Stolen From BrandonReese.com

Is the yellow and adorably innocent cartoon character, SpongeBob Square Pants, gay? Is the goofy, abscent-minded starfish, Patrick, his homosexual lover? Does his classical music-loving, bubblebath-soaking co-worker and next-door neighbor, Squidward, take part in group homosexual sex with SpongeBob and Patrick? Do they touch each other s penises for pleasure? (Hey, don t get mad at me. In plain language, that is the controversy.) Are these three characters and those that create and produce their widely popular cartoon series secretly promoting a homosexual agenda ? Are those in the gay community infiltrating Nickelodeon and using the cable network to turn our children into homosexuals?

Of course they are.

Ahem.

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