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What the Hell Have You Been Doing?

I don’t write.

I don’t read.

I don’t take photographs.

I don’t check my email.

I don’t surf the internet.

I do my nine-to-fiver. I work in the yard. I study golf and work on my swing. I play golf. More this year than any other in the past two decades.

Last June, I broke my ankle. Completely shattering one bone in my lower leg and cracking the other about halfway through. I’ve already had two surgeries. My doctor says I need one more. He wanted me to do it in March; I wanted to wait.

I’m waiting.

The doctor said, “No softball this year.” I’ve played on two or three teams every year for those two aforementioned decades (softball nudged out golf).

“Golf?” I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders.

Twenty years ago, I was a 2 handicap. I averaged shooting somewhere between 74 and 78 each 18 holes I played. I was good and getting better. And then life got in the way. I couldn’t play five to seven days a week anymore. My golf scores suffered. An 8 handicap, which I became, was intolerable to me. I quit.

(Yes, I know, there are golfers out there willing to give up sex, drinking, and gambling for an 8 handicap. I wasn’t one of them—frankly, it was the reverse.)

In the past twenty years I played a few times each year. Mainly in corporate scramble tournaments where my lack of consistency wouldn’t be revealed by a triple-digit number on my scorecard.

This year is different. In a mere two months I’ve gone from not breaking 90 to shooting two-under par over 17 holes (the last hole was called on account of darkness) and shooting even par for nine holes on my last two times out. I’m working diligently and constantly to get back to that consistency a golfer needs to toss up nice scores.

I have a lot of golf knowledge in my head. I’ve always thought about writing a book. I really think I can help any golfer drop 10 or more strokes off his/her game just by giving him/her simple, common sense advice.

But I’m not going to write that book. I’m going to write a website. I’ve already grabbed the domain: weenieGOLF.com. Don’t go there yet, you’ll only come back to here. I haven’t come up with a design yet, nor arranged hosting. I have, however, started writing.

Why weenieGOLF? It’s the way I’ve always played, like a weenie. I was the most boring near-scratch golfer you’d ever seen. I hit fairways, got on greens in regulation, and two-putted my way into boring golf supremacy. I stayed out of trouble and, when in trouble, I got out quickly and quietly.

I had no flash. I didn’t stand out. People loved having me as a partner. They knew what they were getting. Consistency.

I want that back.

I’m almost there.

At weenieGOLF.com, I’ll spill my brains and tell you everything I know, rather, everything I think I know about golf. Along the way I’ll tell some stories, crack some jokes, and maybe piss some people off along the way.

From time-to-time, I’ll let you know how things are going.


BWG said:

You should still write the book.

It could be a bestseller.

Posted on Jun 04, 2006 03:20 AM

Tangerine said:


However you wish to package it.

I know it will be a hit because I have learned from you.

Don't ask my handicap. That would be unfair.

Posted on Jun 06, 2006 01:34 AM

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