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I’m a Sneakers Guy

The Wife-beast is always trying to make me wear sandals. I’m not a sandals-type guy. I mean, I’ll wear them to the beach but to go out to the store? No way. Not me.

I’m a sneakers guy, I tell her.

“Yeh, but you’re always wearing the wrong socks,” she says.

No, I don’t.

“Green socks?”

I’m wearing green shorts.

“Take the socks off; put on your sandals.”

If I start wearing sandals it’s one small step away from you not wearing a bra. The next thing you know we’ll be going to swing parties, wife-swapping, and waiting in a Denny’s parking lot until two in the morning for some guy named Phil to answer his pager and drop a baggy of skunk weed into the window of my minivan. Oh no. Not for me. I’m a sneakers guy.

“Shut up and put your sandals on.”

Yes Dear.

Comments

TanJ said:

What is it with guys and sandal hang-ups?

True I live on an island, and I have turned my nose up at a guy picking me up for a date wearing flip flops, but, I find sandals sexy on a man.

Something about the way his man hair tends to end at the ankle. But, you have to have good toenails.

Do you have good toenails, Jim?

Posted on Nov 02, 2005 12:30 AM

ButtonMonkey said:

I'm mostly a sandals guy. Last summer, the wife decided to try the braless thing but we stopped short of swing parties, wife-swapping or skunk weed.

Maybe she was holding out for a sneakers guy.

Posted on Nov 02, 2005 01:59 PM

ruminator said:

<grinning> I'll bet Jim has good toenails... Be careful, man, or TanJ will be trying to pick you up!

Posted on Nov 05, 2005 06:38 AM

Jim said:

My toenails are of the right color and consistency--they aren't yellow and they're smooth, with no signs of icky fungal infection. They blanche well--that's a medical assessment in which you press and release the nail and monitor blood return.

In truth, there are times when I don't trim them quite quick enough and they grow beyond what might be considered proper decorum.

Posted on Nov 05, 2005 10:25 AM

BWG said:

You can always get a pair of manly and rugged Teva sandals.

Then you can get your wife a matching pair — and you'd look so cute together.

Posted on Nov 05, 2005 11:47 PM

ButtonMonkey said:

Then, you could take the wife on vacation in S. Florida and she would probably be hit on by manly sandal wearing women that drive trucks.

Posted on Nov 06, 2005 05:59 PM

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